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9:32pm April 5th]
I know, I know, I know I sound reluctant, but I've never been more sure in my whole life that this is right. Let's gang up on the stars and start a war with everything we don't love anymore. To hell with the hazards of the future. I'm here now, take me as you will.

how i have been feeling.
i wish i had an airport

11:08pm May 7th]
i still think about you randomly and i shouldn't because you have a girlfriend and you'd probably wish death on me but it's all cool. school is over in a week, i'll be home next thursday. summer should be endless and awesome.

I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again
I thought about it

You treat me like I'm a princess
I'm not used to liking that
You ask how my day was

i also listen to this song a lot randomly i guess it's how i feel lately.
i wish i had an airport

11:48pm March 18th]
i wish i had an airport

4:09am March 12th]
this week has been rough. today i had an exam and a project due and tomorrow, well technically today since it is 410 in the morning, i have another project and an exam due. friday is spring break I can't wait to hang out with debra and kristen and see my family. and do boom box bud stuff with maria and cass. I also need to do a lot of studying and work, but since I don't have a job anymore I have a lot more free time. I also need to hang out with devon!!! i miss the crazy fun shit times we had in redbank, in my car, at wawa and with mother nature.

I thought i had learned a lot lot since last year but I find myself feeling right now how i felt exactly at this time last year. i dont know how to stop feeling like this. It kind of excites me and gives me something to think about but i know im wasting my energy and emotions, but what's a silly girl like me to do.

I find myself thinking of you always. whenever i see apple jacks, hot chocolate, puddles, rent, and mostly whenever I listen to archie star, it sucks but I guess i will always have a part of you on my mind.

im weird. drugs are cool, and so are my best friends. maria,debra,cass,nicole,dan,rach,marites,ash,devon the boys. I made amazing friends recentley too and I never realized how i love new friends and hanging out with them. i love ash,carly,cory,lisa and sam. i just love life right now, but i also am lonely right now, but its alright. Im okay with it right now.

Last semester when i loved being single, i met you and i was cautious and didnt realize what i had, and now i want it back and i dont wanna be single. weird. right.

I also need to stop thinking that I am inferior to everyone, its hurting me.

shennaniganing with nicole is amazing, and soire is my favorite word.
i wish i had an airport

3:53pm February 20th]
after last night getting drunk off of travelers club and snow cone blue shit I realize that I love my life and my friends. I didnt go to class this morning, which was stupid but oh well, I am going out again tonight and sunday and I cannot wait to have two more crazy fun drunk nights with my weekend warriors.
1somedays .i wish i had an airport

4:37pm February 15th]
soooo i am back to where i have been. I fell for a guy and he hurt me. it seems like a cycle that always happens for me, so i guess i could have expected it. I thought it would be so hard getting over you cause you were always with me for the past 3 months, but it's actually surprisingly easy.

i dont really feel like talking about anything else. I have a lot on my mind but don't know where to put it all.
i wish i had an airport

3:29pm January 12th]
remember when i told you that i did not believe in regret.
HAH well,now you are the reason that i do.

i love my life. i seriously am so stupid and naive. this needs to change.
i wish i had an airport

6:03pm January 7th]
i am having a horrible week and usually i would text you cause you always make me feel better but it sucks cause your one of the reasons im having a horrible week.
i wish i had an airport

9:45pm January 1st]
going to new york with maria rachael and dan was the messiest thing we've ever done. HAH.
I wish I could tell people how i actually felt, but i can't.
i wish i had an airport

4:15pm December 26th]
christmas yesterday was perfect actually. I got everything that I wanted. cowboy boys and ipod touch, my mary kate and ashley book, and a whole bunch of other typical girl stuff.

i am about to go to the mall right now with maria and jason.

I have been smiling nonstop thanks to you. and I have non stop been listening to regina spektor.
i wish i had an airport

12:38am December 21st]
What do I do when you get close?
If I kissed your neck, would you slit my throat?
Are you thinking of me when you're putting on your makeup,
darling, and dying your hair like you do
Well you're wasting time if you're trying to impress me
I waste all my time just thinking of you

All i have done the past few days is work, and i can't wait for christmas.
my sister is really drunk right now and it's hilarious watching her fall all over her room.
i wish i had an airport

6:23am December 13th]
"I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till I drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion."

it's 6:23 in the morning. Staying up and laughing all night with maria nicole dan ashley and rachael is a really fun thing to do. I also enjoy hanging out of my window in a sixth floor building with nicole. Classes are over, my psych final is on tuesday, then brick town for me for a month.

I might be achieving happiness?
i wish i had an airport

10:05pm November 28th]
i feel like i am a different person lately.
I don't really care about anything.
I do thing's and say thing's that are stupid, but i dont mind myself saying or doing them.
I am honestly a mess.
I feel like i have nothing going for me right now, but I somehow feel great.
I have more problems than ive ever had and it feels fun
I feel like a movie star for some reason, I like getting attention from people, whether its good or bad.

The past week has just been weird.
I like you, I don't like you, then there's you and i kinda really like you most days but then other days I don't like you, then i decide i like you again. my head is a mess

On another note i love having you as a friend. I lost you for a while, I really hated you, but i like having you as someone i can talk to.
it's weird how thing's happen.

I'm the all singing all dancing crap of the world.
i wish i had an airport

12:36am November 17th]
i like kegs and the kids that stand behind them.
i like wine and cheese.

Having a boy sleep next to you, is so much better than sleeping alone.
i wish i had an airport

10:23pm October 23rd]
oh boy, what have i gotten myself into.

my birthday/christmas list:
ipod touch
cowboy boots
my so called life dvd
tall black uggs
nike dunks

i'm happy, but wanting you.
i wish i had an airport

9:57pm September 21st]
everything seeems to be falling apart, but i haven't been this happy in a while.
i wish i had an airport

7:08pm September 17th]
I like weird music, I love drinking captain morgan, I enjoy figuring thing's out, I am a hippie, i like knowing no limitations, I want to be free, take me to morocco.

Someone learn to like me.
i wish i had an airport

1:40pm August 28th]
Summer was goood, all i am looking forward to is going back to school. three days.

I hope i dont make as many mistakes this year as i did last. I am really anxious to see what shennanigans i get into this year, cause i had no idea what to expect last year.
i wish i had an airport

5:54pm August 18th]
seeing Andrew Mcmahon never ever gets old. it's amazing everytime.


everything in my life is coming together nicely.
i move back to school in 13 days and it couldn't come soon enough.
i cant believe i actually used to like you, you get on my nerves now and you are the MOST selfish person i have ever met.
i wish i had an airport

9:48pm August 10th]
the past few days have been very good.
I have been emo with cass a few days, we drove around bricktown listening to a rocket to the moon and spilling our hearts out to each other. I am so glad I have people I can legit talk to about how I am feeling, I never had friends like I had now. well i always had devon to talk to but now i feel like i will always have her and some other people that actually understand me. Cass and I also got arrested while eating taco bell yesterday so we went against the law and went to windward beach and swang on swings and tried to make up silly excuses about why boys dont like us, it was just funny yet in a way kind of upsetting. I have learned to laugh at my pathetic attempt to have a boyfriend or any sort of love life.

After everything that has happen with roseanne, I honestly think i like my family. Like i never though of a fun day to being hanging out with my family, that sounds horrible but its true. I would never be like, lets go hang out with my aunts and uncles. but like i love spending time with trinity, laura and makana, they are so funny and i love them. it's weird. I am ninteen years old just realizing what should be important, what shouldnt be and how stupid ive honestly been for must of my life. I am so late with things, but when i do realize things they always hit me hard or at a really awkward time in my life.

So, lately besides being emo with cassandra, friday night was sleepover with debra. I love being around debra cause she has the best personality, so carefree and fucking awesome and she rubs off on me and i feel like a funner person when im around her so i love hanging out with her. I am going to die without her at school, I see her almost everyday. we were running though the aisles of target being really loud, buying oreos and we bought gossip magazines, then we raced to the car so we could get to taco bell. hmm. then we watched drop dead gorgeous and ate our yummy food and it was just fun. whenever i hang out with debra i just have endless amounts of fun and it feels great. i went home saturday morning, then i worked until 5, came home then me and maria went to ocean, to nick moyles to hang out with flow, drew, nick, scali, and some other fun people. It was really fun. It was just a few of us hanging out, drinking, making fun of each other, telling secrets to each other, dancing to shake it, watching a walk to remember. I wish i lived in ocean i like most people there. Also being there drew kept bringing up a certain someone and it made me mad but also made me realize i miss like always liking him and scheming of ways for him to notice me. I shouldnt have to make a plan for someone to notice me, i want someone to willingly notice me and like me and want to be around me. basically my weekend warriors are that group of friends that change your life and you feel like you could hang out with them forever, i am so happy i found them recently and that they are in my life, it feels great.

I saw pineapple express today, i only have to say that it was really hilarious, i laughed a lot and it made me feel great, I also wanted to smoke right after i saw it.

you are another part of my life that i like to hate and hate to like.
i wish i had an airport

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